If my beloved was going to accompany me to Baltimore was the subject of many verbal essays I received in the weeks approaching today and my plans of “the ladies bonding while Kevin and I see Chelsea and go on the lash” were savagely shredded. “I’m not going all the way down there so you can go out with your friends, laugh and drink beer while I sit in on my birthday” she declared. So alone I go.
Was up bright and early on the morn, full of youthful anticipation. Card went over nicely although where I left it could have done with some improvement – duly noted. I told her I had to leave at 9:30 as, since I was going alone, I’d get a lift. My thoughts were that together we’d walk the dog, pick up breakfast and have a nice, if brief, time together. What followed was a truly insightful discussion about my inability to spend more than 1 1/2 waking hours in her presence on her Birthday. So engaging was this conversation that dog was not walked and said breakfast not attained and before you knew it the appointed time had arrived.
What??? What about our walk and breakfast together? Needless to say there was no goodbye kiss as I left. My Chelsea badge brightened only slightly my heavy heart. So I ended up driving her car to Baltimore with a few of the lads, PJ and Ian. Early departure was a good call as traffic was already getting out of control. Upon arrival I called beloved but chat was interrupted as I’d dropped the boys off at an eerily similarly named, but still incorrect, Hotel. Call ya back I said hastily. Hotel found, met Kevin and had delightful sail around Baltimore Harbor. We rush back, shower and its up the pub with 1,000 other Chelsea fans, saw the game, (Chelsea 2 Inter 1) back up the pub, then taken to a Kevin-local and closed the place. “You called her back right” a hundred internet voices say (to date 0 followers but expecting one very soon Si), “Oh Lord, please tell me you called her back”, the hordes implore. Well yes and no. Apparently my trousers are so much smarter than I and they desperately attempted to hook us up several times. Loud and muffled bellows of laughter greeted her upon some of my calls while sing-a-longs relating the most favored location to stuff yer Man Utd were on others.

Next Day.
One thing about Baltimoreans is god can they talk! I received detailed parking advice from suits to nuts. The bums being the most insistent that I read the signs and move my car from the hydrant. A long ride home and many phone calls not picked up or returned. Strange I thought.
Clarity was gained upon walking through the door and in only a matter of several hours was I able to placate her the best way I know how, with a plate of Carbonara from Augustino’s at the bar. Watched Death at a Funeral (brilliant English farce) on TV and we fell happily asleep. Good times.
Cheers and may you never stop learning.