Beloved, having read the blog, has actually very little to say about the whole matter and I find myself dumbstruck unaccustomed as I am to silence. I think to be honest she's secretly quite flattered.

So all was proceeding quite nicely until this e mail arrived.

"Just read your Blog".

Ordinarily a harmless communiqué except this one came from her Dad...in Germany.

"What does that mean" I screamed at my screen. No critique of any kind? No "read your blog, found it quite funny, better hope she doesn't write one on you - ha ha", that would've been perfect. But no, this was worse, it was an anti-nag. A cold statement of facts that would have pleased only Joe Friday.

I have been trained to listen to my failings, to parrot them back when demanded, to offer imperfect and flimsy excuses, but this is hell. Do you think he's mad, perhaps secretly fuming... or smiling even? And importantly will he ever feed me that wonderful Kolsch beer again? Then I started thinking, how did he get it, had Beloved really sent it to him? Was she so mad she didn't know where to begin and was now calling in the big guns, the Howitzer. Only time will tell.

Cheers and may you never stop learning.