Beloved, having read the blog, has actually very little to say about the whole matter and I find myself dumbstruck unaccustomed as I am to silence. I think to be honest she's secretly quite flattered.
So all was proceeding quite nicely until this e mail arrived.
"Just read your Blog".
Ordinarily a harmless communiqué except this one came from her Dad...in Germany.
"What does that mean" I screamed at my screen. No critique of any kind? No "read your blog, found it quite funny, better hope she doesn't write one on you - ha ha", that would've been perfect. But no, this was worse, it was an anti-nag. A cold statement of facts that would have pleased only Joe Friday.
I have been trained to listen to my failings, to parrot them back when demanded, to offer imperfect and flimsy excuses, but this is hell. Do you think he's mad, perhaps secretly fuming... or smiling even? And importantly will he ever feed me that wonderful Kolsch beer again? Then I started thinking, how did he get it, had Beloved really sent it to him? Was she so mad she didn't know where to begin and was now calling in the big guns, the Howitzer. Only time will tell.
Cheers and may you never stop learning.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
If my beloved was going to accompany me to Baltimore was the subject of many verbal essays I received in the weeks approaching today and my plans of “the ladies bonding while Kevin and I see Chelsea and go on the lash” were savagely shredded. “I’m not going all the way down there so you can go out with your friends, laugh and drink beer while I sit in on my birthday” she declared. So alone I go.
Was up bright and early on the morn, full of youthful anticipation. Card went over nicely although where I left it could have done with some improvement – duly noted. I told her I had to leave at 9:30 as, since I was going alone, I’d get a lift. My thoughts were that together we’d walk the dog, pick up breakfast and have a nice, if brief, time together. What followed was a truly insightful discussion about my inability to spend more than 1 1/2 waking hours in her presence on her Birthday. So engaging was this conversation that dog was not walked and said breakfast not attained and before you knew it the appointed time had arrived.
What??? What about our walk and breakfast together? Needless to say there was no goodbye kiss as I left. My Chelsea badge brightened only slightly my heavy heart. So I ended up driving her car to Baltimore with a few of the lads, PJ and Ian. Early departure was a good call as traffic was already getting out of control. Upon arrival I called beloved but chat was interrupted as I’d dropped the boys off at an eerily similarly named, but still incorrect, Hotel. Call ya back I said hastily. Hotel found, met Kevin and had delightful sail around Baltimore Harbor. We rush back, shower and its up the pub with 1,000 other Chelsea fans, saw the game, (Chelsea 2 Inter 1) back up the pub, then taken to a Kevin-local and closed the place. “You called her back right” a hundred internet voices say (to date 0 followers but expecting one very soon Si), “Oh Lord, please tell me you called her back”, the hordes implore. Well yes and no. Apparently my trousers are so much smarter than I and they desperately attempted to hook us up several times. Loud and muffled bellows of laughter greeted her upon some of my calls while sing-a-longs relating the most favored location to stuff yer Man Utd were on others.
Next Day.
One thing about Baltimoreans is god can they talk! I received detailed parking advice from suits to nuts. The bums being the most insistent that I read the signs and move my car from the hydrant. A long ride home and many phone calls not picked up or returned. Strange I thought.
Clarity was gained upon walking through the door and in only a matter of several hours was I able to placate her the best way I know how, with a plate of Carbonara from Augustino’s at the bar. Watched Death at a Funeral (brilliant English farce) on TV and we fell happily asleep. Good times.
Cheers and may you never stop learning.
Was up bright and early on the morn, full of youthful anticipation. Card went over nicely although where I left it could have done with some improvement – duly noted. I told her I had to leave at 9:30 as, since I was going alone, I’d get a lift. My thoughts were that together we’d walk the dog, pick up breakfast and have a nice, if brief, time together. What followed was a truly insightful discussion about my inability to spend more than 1 1/2 waking hours in her presence on her Birthday. So engaging was this conversation that dog was not walked and said breakfast not attained and before you knew it the appointed time had arrived.
What??? What about our walk and breakfast together? Needless to say there was no goodbye kiss as I left. My Chelsea badge brightened only slightly my heavy heart. So I ended up driving her car to Baltimore with a few of the lads, PJ and Ian. Early departure was a good call as traffic was already getting out of control. Upon arrival I called beloved but chat was interrupted as I’d dropped the boys off at an eerily similarly named, but still incorrect, Hotel. Call ya back I said hastily. Hotel found, met Kevin and had delightful sail around Baltimore Harbor. We rush back, shower and its up the pub with 1,000 other Chelsea fans, saw the game, (Chelsea 2 Inter 1) back up the pub, then taken to a Kevin-local and closed the place. “You called her back right” a hundred internet voices say (to date 0 followers but expecting one very soon Si), “Oh Lord, please tell me you called her back”, the hordes implore. Well yes and no. Apparently my trousers are so much smarter than I and they desperately attempted to hook us up several times. Loud and muffled bellows of laughter greeted her upon some of my calls while sing-a-longs relating the most favored location to stuff yer Man Utd were on others.
Next Day.
One thing about Baltimoreans is god can they talk! I received detailed parking advice from suits to nuts. The bums being the most insistent that I read the signs and move my car from the hydrant. A long ride home and many phone calls not picked up or returned. Strange I thought.
Clarity was gained upon walking through the door and in only a matter of several hours was I able to placate her the best way I know how, with a plate of Carbonara from Augustino’s at the bar. Watched Death at a Funeral (brilliant English farce) on TV and we fell happily asleep. Good times.
Cheers and may you never stop learning.
Day one.
Hmmm….not a good one to begin. She might have a point.
For it’s her birthday and I, being a Football (soccer -last time I'll make that clarification btw) supporter I'm off to visit my friend Kevin in Baltimore and together see my team, Chelsea play. Now within these pages I will not often try to offer too much defense, my actions will speak for them selves, but before you go guffawing at my questionable decision making skills I will say this. I’ve been a Chelsea fan for 30 plus years and chances to see them in US are rare, Yes this is one of those times that the saying “that it has to be done” is apropos.
My going to away to see this game was discussed many months ago and deals were struck. And besides I’m not stupid, I got her a card and wrote lovely things in it, but on reflection a gift might have eased my position some. However DID go for dinner last night in honor… ended up at Fire and Oak, in Jersey City on the day most of their elected representatives were passing time learning Yiddish from the Talmudic scholars also incarcerated, it being their first night at the county lock up for corruption. Sweetie had filet and I had the roasted organic half chicken , both excellent and for one of our rare (given these times) fancy nights out we made a good choice. On the way back I thought it might be nice to extend the celebrations with a few of our friends at Louis and Jerry’s on Washington St in Hoboken, surely the best bar here and as if I had recieved a higher blessing for this idea found parking right outside… re…sult!
“Why can’t you just want to spend time with me, just one night” signaled the opening of a barrage of helpful pointers that was about to come my way. I drove off with my smoking friends pondering the sudden arrival and subsequent immediate departure of our trusty chariot. We drove home in silence (me) listening intently to my catalog of errors.
Upon parking the car I saw her dry-cleaned dress curled up on the back seat and half on the floor, picked it up and began to carry it in. Now it was a long dress so I took the bottom of the plastic and looped it through the top of the hanger, thought I’d seen this done at the cleaners and also meant I didn’t have to carry it with my arm outstretched at head level. Was this the lack of respect for her belongings so often displayed by me? Of course it was, you saw that immediately at home didn’t you? As pennants for this foolish act I walked her dog, while she retired, exhausted no doubt from her suffering of someone as stupid as I.
But off to Chelsea today and really looking forward to it, a huge group of fans will be there and big festivities are planned before and after the match. Will let you know where and how I screw this one up next time
Cheers and may you never stop learning.
Hmmm….not a good one to begin. She might have a point.
For it’s her birthday and I, being a Football (soccer -last time I'll make that clarification btw) supporter I'm off to visit my friend Kevin in Baltimore and together see my team, Chelsea play. Now within these pages I will not often try to offer too much defense, my actions will speak for them selves, but before you go guffawing at my questionable decision making skills I will say this. I’ve been a Chelsea fan for 30 plus years and chances to see them in US are rare, Yes this is one of those times that the saying “that it has to be done” is apropos.
My going to away to see this game was discussed many months ago and deals were struck. And besides I’m not stupid, I got her a card and wrote lovely things in it, but on reflection a gift might have eased my position some. However DID go for dinner last night in honor… ended up at Fire and Oak, in Jersey City on the day most of their elected representatives were passing time learning Yiddish from the Talmudic scholars also incarcerated, it being their first night at the county lock up for corruption. Sweetie had filet and I had the roasted organic half chicken , both excellent and for one of our rare (given these times) fancy nights out we made a good choice. On the way back I thought it might be nice to extend the celebrations with a few of our friends at Louis and Jerry’s on Washington St in Hoboken, surely the best bar here and as if I had recieved a higher blessing for this idea found parking right outside… re…sult!
“Why can’t you just want to spend time with me, just one night” signaled the opening of a barrage of helpful pointers that was about to come my way. I drove off with my smoking friends pondering the sudden arrival and subsequent immediate departure of our trusty chariot. We drove home in silence (me) listening intently to my catalog of errors.
Upon parking the car I saw her dry-cleaned dress curled up on the back seat and half on the floor, picked it up and began to carry it in. Now it was a long dress so I took the bottom of the plastic and looped it through the top of the hanger, thought I’d seen this done at the cleaners and also meant I didn’t have to carry it with my arm outstretched at head level. Was this the lack of respect for her belongings so often displayed by me? Of course it was, you saw that immediately at home didn’t you? As pennants for this foolish act I walked her dog, while she retired, exhausted no doubt from her suffering of someone as stupid as I.
But off to Chelsea today and really looking forward to it, a huge group of fans will be there and big festivities are planned before and after the match. Will let you know where and how I screw this one up next time
Cheers and may you never stop learning.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)